Personal Letter To All Singles
Nov 3rd, 2015 by admin
Just couldn’t get past writing a letter to all singles particularly when I came across an article addressing the wahala, like they say here in Nigeria, a popular Nigerian blogger is facing from her fans because of her house and husband matter. She just acquired a house at N450m. The question on everyone lips is who will marry her now? So huge it is, that it became a subject for several radio stations in Lagos. In reality why should anyone bother how anyone spends their hard earned money if you just happen to be single? Besides, if God has blessed you, no one has the right to question it. So, she has a house worth millions and that in a conservative society such as Nigeria, particularly if it is not coming from your parents or family, it invariably means you are setting yourself out of the reach of the average single guy.
Unfortunately, our society has stigmatized the overly rich single lady which is why this blogger became the subject of discourse at several radio stations. Being able to acquire certain luxuries in life should not be front page news if not stolen. Besides there are several Nigerian big girls who are living large and the society has not openly discussed their source of wealth neither their lifestyle.
Nevertheless, if truth be told, everyone craves comfort and deciding to make oneself comfortable should not be an issue for others. Well, on the flip side, if she does marry tomorrow who will live in the house she bought, will her husband live in the house with her, and will it automatically become her husband’s house considering as a society, we are a not into prenuptial agreements. The questions are endless but Joy Abosede, an accomplished lady in her own right realized that time was not on her side, she had looked hard enough for the right man to share her life, so when she turned decided fourty, she felt she needed her own space. Miss Abosede then rented a three bedroom apartment, according to her it was with her hard earned money. She then asked her pastor to visit and pray in the house. She was nonetheless surprised when a couple of days later she was lectured on how difficult it would be for a man to find her submissive if she lived in such a big apartment and that the best option was for her to move back home, with her parents. Her pastor reiterated the fact that, no man would want her simply because she was living in such a huge house. “Was she going to marry the man or the man was supposed to marry her”. So, if that was the case, did that mean she would have to pretend she had nothing because according to the man of God, men in our society marry the woman not the other way round? She was blown away by such a crude and heartless statement.
The issue does not revolve around houses alone but cars if you drive a flamboyant car, you sending potential suitors away so the best type of car for a single lady is a modest one. If truth be told, most men are intimidated by successful women or the rising profile of women. Anyway, do single ladies need to expose their true worth to potential boyfriends or husbands, particularly when the potential partner is not as successful? This is an important question because women who are busy and focused at making a career are a turn off and are assumed to be independent, uncontrollable and too picky. So, being, financially buoyant does not mean one has to develop a strong coat attitude that would send the wrong signal. A hard look at the mirror reflects the vicious cycle in our society that allows or places successful ladies in a box. Unfortunately, these ladies eventually succumb to societal standards. The sad truth, is ladies buy into it, subsequently, settling for guys with bad habits, who are openly dating a number of girls and sleeping with rich women.
Nevertheless deciding to buy a house, a choice car, take a trip to the Bahamas, Paris or simply doing something spectacular for oneself is imperative when a marriage proposal is not forthcoming. The bigger picture is realizing that some guys are broke and are not ready for marriage, particularly, with the rising cost of living. Again, most eligible men are not ready to settle down because they are struggling to make ends meet and so taking a second thought before considering marriage. On a final note more power to women who realize the sky is the limit. “I was told I was dangerous. I asked why, and their response was: “because you don’t depend on anyone.” I smiled. I depend on God.